My thoughts while watching Outlander episode 207 “Faith”

1. I will not cry. I will not cry.  I will not cry.
2. Brianna should sound more American, not British.  Or is that a snooty 1950s Boston aristocrat accent a la Charles Emerson Winchester III (M*A*S*H)?
3. Monsieur Forez was there? Time for a reread of DIA.
4. Wtf does a heron have to do with this?
5. 18th century private hospital room = bed with curtains
6. Oh, Cait, you are so good.
7. Mother Hildegarde named her?
8. Bouton rocks
9. Master Raymond looks like one of the sand people from Star Wars.
10. I like how they did the blue light. Less sci-fi than I pictured it in the book.
11. Yay! The blue aura = Madonna explanation.
12. Cat with 9 lives.  Cat o’ 9 tails.  What he whipped Jamie with.  Reference.
13. I know Claire’s going thru hell, but I’m still mad at her for being so pissed at Jamie. If only you knew what that monster did, Claire!
14. Oh, Fergus, you sweet boy, acting as protector, as Jamie’s proxy.
15. Suck it up, Suzette. Take a cue from Magnus.
16. I need a Fergus. (To go with the Murtagh that I also need.)
17. How emotionally draining was this on Cait? OMG
18. A child to comfort. Fergus you are so well placed.
19. Tell her, Fergus! I know it’s not how the book goes.
20. A talent for stealing. Lol
21. My stomach just flipped over.
22. Don’t show it. Please don’t show it.
23. Jamie to the rescue!
24. Go, Jamie, go! Kill!  Kill!  Kill!
25. I demand a duel?  Lame. Come on, Jamie.  Just kill him outright.
26. So now you know, Claire.
27. Mercurial.  Good word.
28. Damn! Mother Hildegarde is no shrinking violet.
29. The green dress!
30. The library. Also beautiful.
31. Claire’s thought bubble: My husband has seen you poop.
32. Hot chocolate, madame, before I take my pleasure with you in exchange for your husband’s freedom?
33. King Louis has piggy lips.
34. Don’t woo me, Louie. Just get it over with.
35. Your brown hairline is showing. Fix your wig.
36. He’s icky but it could be worse. It could be Prince Charlie.
37. Nice room. You’re still icky.
38. Claire’s thought bubble: A witch trial again? Wtf, 18th century?  W.T.F.
39. Comte doesn’t look smug for a change. I like it.
40. I’m sorry I tried to kill you.  Twice.  Please spare my life.  Oh, goddamit.
41. Oh, Claire. You must be loving this.
42. Thank you, Jamie, for making me La Dame Blanche. Power!
43. Oh, hey, wait. The comte speaks English.
44. King hands!
45. Comte no likey snakes.
46. Forez’s face is perfect! Lol  He looks like Little Steven (VanZandt) as Silvio in The Sopranos.  Always scowling.
47. Be not afraid, Raymond. You know it’s gonna suck but you won’t die.
48. Love, love, love that she gave it to Raymond first so the comte could watch.
49. How did it change color?!
50. Oh, Raymond. Very nice.
51. “Oh well.” That’s all you can come up with?
52. Good acting, Comte. Love the tears.
53. King Louis thought bubble: Please do not soil The King’s floor as you expire, Comte.
54. King hands!
55. Another Wizard of Oz reference!!
56. Oh, hello, King. I’d hoped you were done with me.
57. Death arouses The King.
58. The King is a 3 pump chump. Lol
59. Claire’s thought bubble: OK. That wasn’t too bad.  Quick and easy.
60. King hands say: I’m done. You may go now.
61. Alrighty then. I’ll just take my orange because I don’t want to get scurvy, and leave.
62. Jamie’s home!
63. Jamie needs a bath and a laundress.
64. Black mourning gown?
65. Jamie sounded 100 years old just now. Like he hadn’t spoken at all in the Bastille.
66. Holy raggedy beard, Batman!
67. Sorry.  You’ve been through a lot but you must see why Jamie fought BJR.  Forgive, eh?
68. Shouldn’t Faith be smaller? I thought she was only 20-something weeks.
69. Her eyes were slanted a bit, like yours. In the book.
70. I think if I was going to cry, it would be now. I’m not.  I’m safe.
71. Hey, Louise. What’s shakin’?
72. The shallow bitch does indeed have a heart and is a good friend.
73. No, you can’t put your filthy, shallow, Prince-fucking, whore hands on my precious angel.
74. Oh, I see the red hair! Awww!
75. I love that Louise and Mother handled her like a live baby. Very nice.
76. Again, Cait. You are a gem.  Such acting.
77. Jamie looks thin.
78. Um, Claire, you know the duel didn’t cause your miscarriage, right?
79. It’s not your fault either, Claire.
80. The forgiveness line from the creek again!
81. You told him about the king.  Flat out.  Like that.  You’re a cold bitch.
82. Claire, honey. Nice, clean 3 pump chump is nothing compared to what Jamie endured for you.
83. Together.
84. Yeah, Claire. People didn’t get divorced in 1740-something.
85. Yay! Home to Scotland!  Totally worth fucking the king.
86. But you can’t have 11 apostle spoons! You’ve messed up the set!
87. Still no tears from me. Either I’m a cold-hearted bitch or you’re all wusses.

 Next week…

1. Oh, hey, Jenny.
2. Now my grandpa wants to fuck my wife.  WTF, people?  I know she’s hot but come on already!