I just read this and I'm still shaking. Anyone with food allergic children, anyone who cares for this kids, and anyone who doesn't understand the severity of food allergies needs to read this.
THE TIME I ALMOST KILLED MY CHILD
http://www.scarymommy.com/i-almost-killed-my-child/
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
State Worker
I don't know which way is up anymore. I feel like I did when I was a kid and went to the beach the first time. I got knocked down by a wave and tumbled and tumbled, furiously trying to find the surface before I ran out of air.
How much more crap can they throw at me? I'd say I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop but they've dropped enough shoes for a centipede.
Boss leaves
I'm in charge but I'm not in charge
We're moving
To a building with not enough parking
We're moving
During my summer vacation
We're moving
And I'm trying to be a good little soldier but I really want to kick and scream and bite
Everyone's coming to me with their problems
But I can't fix them and I have problems of my own
Despite my repeated attempts to tell them their new idea won't work
They've still gone ahead and started on the project that will fuck up the main thing I've been working on for the last 6 years
It may be prettier but it's not better
It's not as robust
It's not as flexible
It's a lot more expensive
Spend taxpayer dollars on a crappy solution
When you could spend a fraction of that improving the current product
Try to get this thing out in a ridiculously short time frame
To make the incumbent governor look good
Lose weight, you fat fuck!
That's the only thing that'll make you look good
Rearrange and scramble everyone around
All in an effort to avoid the appearance of nepotism
We met at work
Neither of us got the other one a job
Or a promotion
Or anything
We work well together and we don't bother anyone
But it's OK for the big boss to be unqualified
As long as she's married to the governor's right hand man
Dealing with the failout of everyone's interpersonal relations
Or lack there of
This one doesn't like that one
These two don't like those two
Hell, they all seem OK... ish to me
Why do I have to get caught up in your power struggle?
I keep hoping I'll wake up and it'll all have been a terrible nightmare.
I wonder if it's ever been this bad.
Have I survived worse in the past?
I can't remember
Can I take it?
Can I suck it up and ride it out?
Or will they create enough of a mess before they leave that I'll be forever fucked up by their bad decisions?
I like my job.
Don't screw it up for me
Don't screw it up for me!
How much more crap can they throw at me? I'd say I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop but they've dropped enough shoes for a centipede.
Boss leaves
I'm in charge but I'm not in charge
We're moving
To a building with not enough parking
We're moving
During my summer vacation
We're moving
And I'm trying to be a good little soldier but I really want to kick and scream and bite
Everyone's coming to me with their problems
But I can't fix them and I have problems of my own
Despite my repeated attempts to tell them their new idea won't work
They've still gone ahead and started on the project that will fuck up the main thing I've been working on for the last 6 years
It may be prettier but it's not better
It's not as robust
It's not as flexible
It's a lot more expensive
Spend taxpayer dollars on a crappy solution
When you could spend a fraction of that improving the current product
Try to get this thing out in a ridiculously short time frame
To make the incumbent governor look good
Lose weight, you fat fuck!
That's the only thing that'll make you look good
Rearrange and scramble everyone around
All in an effort to avoid the appearance of nepotism
We met at work
Neither of us got the other one a job
Or a promotion
Or anything
We work well together and we don't bother anyone
But it's OK for the big boss to be unqualified
As long as she's married to the governor's right hand man
Dealing with the failout of everyone's interpersonal relations
Or lack there of
This one doesn't like that one
These two don't like those two
Hell, they all seem OK... ish to me
Why do I have to get caught up in your power struggle?
I keep hoping I'll wake up and it'll all have been a terrible nightmare.
I wonder if it's ever been this bad.
Have I survived worse in the past?
I can't remember
Can I take it?
Can I suck it up and ride it out?
Or will they create enough of a mess before they leave that I'll be forever fucked up by their bad decisions?
I like my job.
Don't screw it up for me
Don't screw it up for me!
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Yeah... hi
I'm terrible at this blogging thing. It's good that no one's relying on me to post consistently.
Aaaaand I really don't feel like writing now, so ima just share a link: https://workflowy.com/
It's a pretty cool "To Do" list kinda thingy. Give it a try. Super easy to set up.
Now, back to your regularly scheduled blog.
Aaaaand I really don't feel like writing now, so ima just share a link: https://workflowy.com/
It's a pretty cool "To Do" list kinda thingy. Give it a try. Super easy to set up.
Now, back to your regularly scheduled blog.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
What is Public Health?
It's National Public Health Week. Rather than just changing my Facebook profile pic or posting pix of the Empire State Building lit up in "team colors," I think awareness months and weeks should be used to educate people about the topic, not just reminding everyone that something exists. (That's right all you blue-lit Empire State Bldg people with the puzzle piece profile pix, I'm looking at you.) So, what is public health?
First, I'll tell you what it's not. It's not about your personal health. It's not about what goes on between you and your doctor, pharmacist, or insurance company. We don't have records of that. We don't want records of that. It's none of our business. I understand that you want your childhood medical records and your pediatrician closed up shop 20 years ago, but we simply do not have these things. The government isn't nearly as Big Brotherish as some would lead you to believe.
Public health is about health issues that affect groups of people. Environmental issues with drinking water or air pollution. WIC subsidies for poor women who are pregnant or have young children. Free cancer screenings for those who don't have insurance or can't afford to pay. Health fairs. Health education campaigns. (You know all the quit smoking stuff you've seen over the years? That's public health.) Restaurant, hospital, and nursing home inspections. Newborn biomedical and hearing screening. Public safety. Public policy.
Public health is about making changes and providing services that affect entire communities, not just one person. Even programs like WIC and cancer detection programs that benefit individuals, also benefit the community as a whole by preventing bigger health care burdens down the road. Early intervention programs for children with special needs, newborn biomedical screening for inborn errors in metabolism and other congenital problems, and newborn hearing screening to detect and address hearing problems at the earliest stage also benefit the community as a whole by attempting to give children the extra help they need long before they enter the school system.
In addition to providing specific services like education, screening, testing, detection, and inspections, public health workers also analyze aggregate data to help policymakers make decisions based on data trends and comparisons between different groups of people to see where help is and isn't needed so that scarce public funds are funneled in the right direction. Data are used to track disease outbreaks. Data are used to study the effectiveness of programs and policies on the population as a whole. Leading causes of death are determined by statisticians in state health departments and in the National Center for Health Statistics. Infant death, low birth weight and preterm birth percentages, and teen birth rates are all produced by public health departments.
Public health is large-scale and often long-term surveys of health-related behaviors. Public health sets childhood growth chart standards and determines the BMI cut-offs between normal weight and overweight and between overweight and obese. Public health is about using traumatic brain injury data to push for bicycle helmet and seat belt laws. Public health is bioterrorism and natural disaster preparedness and response. Public health is about lead and mold and other household things that can cause illness. Public health is about asbestos and bloodborne infectious diseases and other occupational hazards. Public health is immunizations to prevent the spread of communicable diseases and tracking and treating outbreaks when and if they do occur.
Public health is about all that and more. I know a lot of people, myself included at times, like to come down on government and government employees. We're sometimes portrayed as lazy, ignorant, and overpaid. We're often confused with elected officials when people are poo-pooing "government." Government employees are not elected. We acquire and hold jobs just like people in the private sector. The only difference is that everyone is privy to our salaries, our spending, and our mission, so they don't see how private companies squander money for their own profit. But I digress.
Public health, in my opinion, is a noble profession. We're not in it for profit or glory. Our only mission is to help people with the one thing that we all have and need to maintain: our health. Rich, poor, male, female, old, young, white, black, green, purple, we have health (hopefully good health) and we all need to maintain it in order to live long, happy lives. As Count Rugen says in The Princess Bride, "If you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything."
For more information on National Public Health Week: http://www.nphw.org/
For more on the American Public Health Association: http://apha.org/
To learn more about the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC): http://www.cdc.gov/
The CDC is the public health branch of the US Dept of Health and Human Services.
First, I'll tell you what it's not. It's not about your personal health. It's not about what goes on between you and your doctor, pharmacist, or insurance company. We don't have records of that. We don't want records of that. It's none of our business. I understand that you want your childhood medical records and your pediatrician closed up shop 20 years ago, but we simply do not have these things. The government isn't nearly as Big Brotherish as some would lead you to believe.
Public health is about health issues that affect groups of people. Environmental issues with drinking water or air pollution. WIC subsidies for poor women who are pregnant or have young children. Free cancer screenings for those who don't have insurance or can't afford to pay. Health fairs. Health education campaigns. (You know all the quit smoking stuff you've seen over the years? That's public health.) Restaurant, hospital, and nursing home inspections. Newborn biomedical and hearing screening. Public safety. Public policy.
Public health is about making changes and providing services that affect entire communities, not just one person. Even programs like WIC and cancer detection programs that benefit individuals, also benefit the community as a whole by preventing bigger health care burdens down the road. Early intervention programs for children with special needs, newborn biomedical screening for inborn errors in metabolism and other congenital problems, and newborn hearing screening to detect and address hearing problems at the earliest stage also benefit the community as a whole by attempting to give children the extra help they need long before they enter the school system.
In addition to providing specific services like education, screening, testing, detection, and inspections, public health workers also analyze aggregate data to help policymakers make decisions based on data trends and comparisons between different groups of people to see where help is and isn't needed so that scarce public funds are funneled in the right direction. Data are used to track disease outbreaks. Data are used to study the effectiveness of programs and policies on the population as a whole. Leading causes of death are determined by statisticians in state health departments and in the National Center for Health Statistics. Infant death, low birth weight and preterm birth percentages, and teen birth rates are all produced by public health departments.
Public health is large-scale and often long-term surveys of health-related behaviors. Public health sets childhood growth chart standards and determines the BMI cut-offs between normal weight and overweight and between overweight and obese. Public health is about using traumatic brain injury data to push for bicycle helmet and seat belt laws. Public health is bioterrorism and natural disaster preparedness and response. Public health is about lead and mold and other household things that can cause illness. Public health is about asbestos and bloodborne infectious diseases and other occupational hazards. Public health is immunizations to prevent the spread of communicable diseases and tracking and treating outbreaks when and if they do occur.
Public health is about all that and more. I know a lot of people, myself included at times, like to come down on government and government employees. We're sometimes portrayed as lazy, ignorant, and overpaid. We're often confused with elected officials when people are poo-pooing "government." Government employees are not elected. We acquire and hold jobs just like people in the private sector. The only difference is that everyone is privy to our salaries, our spending, and our mission, so they don't see how private companies squander money for their own profit. But I digress.
Public health, in my opinion, is a noble profession. We're not in it for profit or glory. Our only mission is to help people with the one thing that we all have and need to maintain: our health. Rich, poor, male, female, old, young, white, black, green, purple, we have health (hopefully good health) and we all need to maintain it in order to live long, happy lives. As Count Rugen says in The Princess Bride, "If you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything."
For more information on National Public Health Week: http://www.nphw.org/
For more on the American Public Health Association: http://apha.org/
To learn more about the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC): http://www.cdc.gov/
The CDC is the public health branch of the US Dept of Health and Human Services.
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
April is Parkinson's Disease Awareness Month
 |
| http://www.pdf.org/parkinson_awareness |
About a dozen years ago, my uncle was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease. He has the classic tremor along with forward-flexed posture (camptocormia) and shuffling gait, small handwriting (micrographia), and depression. A couple times when he's had medication issues, he has also suffered hallucinations, delusions, and anxiety. About 5 years ago, after a severe parasitic infection (babesiosis) and subsequent medication cross-reaction, he was diagnosed with dementia or Alzheimer's despite my mother's and my protests that there's no such thing as sudden onset Alzheimer's and that he had been perfectly fine mentally prior to the infection. Luckily, it was "temporary dementia," in other words, he was misdiagnosed. :) My uncle is now 87 years old, stable on his medications, and living comfortably in a nearby assisted living facility. His health is otherwise good and he'll probably outlive all of us.
About 4 years ago, my father was also diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease after a period of just not feeling "right." He does not have much of the classic Parkinson's tremor. What he does have, instead, is nearly every other symptom of Parkinson's Disease. These include slowness of movement (bradykinesia), postural instability, shuffling gait, decreased arm-swing while walking, dystonia, soft speech (hypophonia), swallowing problems (dysphagia), fatigue, a mask-line facial expression (hypomimia), difficulty rolling in bed or rising from a seated position, impaired fine motor dexterity and motor coordination, impaired gross motor coordination, an unpleasant desire to move (akathisia), memory problems, depression, anxiety, sleep disturbances including excessive daytime somnolence and nighttime insomnia, extreme constipation, and double vision. Additionally, he has developed Levodopa-induced dyskinesia (think Michael J. Fox wobbling around) after several years on that medication.
To make matters worse, my father broke his hip about 10 years ago. He had it repaired at the time and then replaced a couple years ago. He suffered hallucinations in the first few days after replacement surgery, probably due to an interaction between his Parkinson's medications and either anesthesia or pain meds. In the end, the hip replacement worked wonders and made him more comfortable than he had been in years. Then, this past fall, he hurt his back while raking leaves. Turns out he had age-related spinal deterioration and just moved the wrong way while raking leaves and tweaked it into a painful position. After trying therapy for a couple months, he had back surgery in February which again worked wonders and took him from extreme pain to virtually no pain overnight. Having learned from the hip replacement hospital experience, my mom was able to better prepare the nursing staff and monitor his medication timing during this hospitalization and thus avoided hallucinations and other crap that someone without Parkinson's wouldn't have to worry about.
The subacute (rehab) hospital has been another story. See, with Parkinson's, medication timing has to practically be down to the minute. Meds have to be taken 30 minutes before or one hour after eating so that they are properly absorbed in the body. Each dose lasts a few hours with improvement seen soon after taking the dose with a peak period a couple hours later, followed by the medication wearing off before the next dose is due. This means that not only does medication administration have to be coordinated with meal times, but also with physical therapy as it's useless to try to get a Parkinson's patient to do therapy in a "down time" in the medication cycle. He needs to do therapy at his peak times or forget it. Despite numerous reassurances by the rehab staff that they understand Parkinson's, they don't. Every couple days, my mom has a talk with the nurse on duty and my dad has everything timed properly for a couple days. Then it gets shot to hell until she has another talk with them. Thus, it's been a rollercoaster ride for my dad.
A few days before he was due to be sent home, having gotten to the point where he could walk up a double flight of stairs unassisted and walk down holding the handrail, he got up in the middle of the night (without calling for assistance like he was supposed to), fell, and "cracked" his hip. Sort of like tapping a hard-boiled egg but not breaking the shell... that's what he did to his bone. No surgery required but now he's back to only doing a toe touch with that leg and has added at least 2 weeks onto his rehab stay. Needless to say, he is miserable. My mom is also miserable because she's been driving 25 miles each way nearly every day to visit him (and keep the staff in line) since he went to the rehab about 5 weeks ago. I should mention that my mother is 78 years old and has a pacemaker and thyroid disease. My dad is "only" 70. He's due to be released in 10 days (assuming continued progress and no more mishaps) and my mom has no idea how she's going to handle him. That will be a story for another blog post.
Bottom line: While my dad probably still would've had the hip replacement and the back surgery, the recovery from both would have been markedly easier and simpler if he didn't have Parkinson's, which is essentially a movement disorder, to contend with. Parkinson's sucks and makes everything else that's sucky suck more. Unless you're Michael J. Fox. He says Parkinson's is the best thing that ever happened to him. God bless 'im.
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Spring is here!
No more "sprinter!" (That's spring-winter for you slow ones.) It's 58 degrees here in my world. Not quite swimsuit weather yet, but I'll take it.
Happy Spring!
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
All You Zombies
Holy Moses met the Pharaoh
Yeah, he tried to set him straight
Looked him in the eye
"Let my people go"
Holy Moses on the mountain
High above the golden calf
Went to get the Ten Commandments
Yeah, he's just gonna break 'em in half
All you zombies, hide your faces
All you people in the street
All you sittin' in high places
The pieces gonna fall on you
No one ever spoke to Noah
They all laughed at him instead
Working on his ark
Working all by himself
Only Noah saw it coming
40 days and 40 nights
Took his sons and daughters with him
Yeah, they were the Israelites
All you zombies, hide your faces
All you people in the street
All you sittin' in high places
The rain's gonna fall on you
Holy Father, what's the matter?
Where have all your children gone?
Sitting in the dark, living all by themselves
You don't have to hide anymore
All you zombies, show your faces
All you people in the street
All you sittin' in high places
The pieces gonna fall on you
All you zombies, show your faces (I know you're out there)
All you people in the street (Let's see you)
All you sittin' in high places
It's all gonna fall on you
[Whispered:]
Zombies
Yeah, he tried to set him straight
Looked him in the eye
"Let my people go"
Holy Moses on the mountain
High above the golden calf
Went to get the Ten Commandments
Yeah, he's just gonna break 'em in half
All you zombies, hide your faces
All you people in the street
All you sittin' in high places
The pieces gonna fall on you
No one ever spoke to Noah
They all laughed at him instead
Working on his ark
Working all by himself
Only Noah saw it coming
40 days and 40 nights
Took his sons and daughters with him
Yeah, they were the Israelites
All you zombies, hide your faces
All you people in the street
All you sittin' in high places
The rain's gonna fall on you
Holy Father, what's the matter?
Where have all your children gone?
Sitting in the dark, living all by themselves
You don't have to hide anymore
All you zombies, show your faces
All you people in the street
All you sittin' in high places
The pieces gonna fall on you
All you zombies, show your faces (I know you're out there)
All you people in the street (Let's see you)
All you sittin' in high places
It's all gonna fall on you
[Whispered:]
Zombies
Songwriter(s):Eric M. Bazilian, Rob Hyman
Artist: The Hooters
Album: Nervous Night /Original Release Date: 1985
Label: 1985 Sony Music Entertainment Inc
Label: 1985 Sony Music Entertainment Inc
Friday, March 22, 2013
‘Monsanto Protection Act’ Sneaks Through Senate
http://news.yahoo.com/monsanto-protection-act-sneaks-spending-bill-180416331.html
"... the rider threatens the health and wellbeing of the public by undermining the federal courts’ ability to protect farmers and the environment from potentially hazardous genetically engineered (GE) crops."
Read the whole story. The bastards snuck it in. I hate to be all doomsdayish but we're going down. The economy. Our food supply. Ammunition shortages. Gun control. It's all going to come to a head and we're not all going to make it to the other side.
Oh, America! What have you done to yourself? What have all you blind, brainwashed idiots done to yourselves and the rest of us?
"... the rider threatens the health and wellbeing of the public by undermining the federal courts’ ability to protect farmers and the environment from potentially hazardous genetically engineered (GE) crops."
Read the whole story. The bastards snuck it in. I hate to be all doomsdayish but we're going down. The economy. Our food supply. Ammunition shortages. Gun control. It's all going to come to a head and we're not all going to make it to the other side.
Oh, America! What have you done to yourself? What have all you blind, brainwashed idiots done to yourselves and the rest of us?
The Guerilla Gardener of South Central
Let Mr. Ron Finley take up the next 10 minutes of your time. He has a very important story to tell.
Brrr
Dear Old Man Winter,
Hello. How are you? I was wondering if anyone told you that Spring has arrived. Yep, she's here. She's been around less than 48 hours, but ya know... she's here. It's her time. For the next 3 months. Yup, yup. So, listen, dude. You gotta go. Sorry. Well, not really. I'm just trying to be polite. What I really want to say to you, Mr. Winter, is GET THE FUCK OUT!!!! No more of this freezing my ass off every evening that I have to be outside. No more biting cold winds. I want none of it. All gone! Go! Go! Take all that shit with you and drag your happy ass back to the North Pole or wherever the hell you come from. Go hang out with your buddy Snow Miser and let icicles drip off the end of your nose. Mkay? Shoo now. Go! Enjoy a nice 9 month vacation. B-bye now! You bastard.
Hugs 'n' kisses,
Me
Hello. How are you? I was wondering if anyone told you that Spring has arrived. Yep, she's here. She's been around less than 48 hours, but ya know... she's here. It's her time. For the next 3 months. Yup, yup. So, listen, dude. You gotta go. Sorry. Well, not really. I'm just trying to be polite. What I really want to say to you, Mr. Winter, is GET THE FUCK OUT!!!! No more of this freezing my ass off every evening that I have to be outside. No more biting cold winds. I want none of it. All gone! Go! Go! Take all that shit with you and drag your happy ass back to the North Pole or wherever the hell you come from. Go hang out with your buddy Snow Miser and let icicles drip off the end of your nose. Mkay? Shoo now. Go! Enjoy a nice 9 month vacation. B-bye now! You bastard.
Hugs 'n' kisses,
Me
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Brain fart
Earlier today, I thought of something profound I wanted to write about, but now I've forgotten what that was. "What a drag it is getting old." Now, what could it have been?
- If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. Check! Had that experience today.
- Shamrock Shakes still rock. I don't care that there's not a scrap of real food in them. They're yummerz.
- GMOs suck.
- Illegal immigrants suck.
- Tax season sucks. Seriously, why can't this be something that's done once every few years? Just pay based on the last year it was done until you're due to reassess again.
- You never get over some bitches from high school because they never get over themselves. 99% of people grow up and become more tolerable but there's always that one who still thinks her shit doesn't stink 25 years later.
- Rape culture sucks.
- Dry skin super sucks. I've put lotion on my lower right leg three times tonight and it still itches like a muthafucka. I'm never gonna be able to fall asleep :(
- Parkinson's disease sucks. (Dad has it, not me.)
- Two days after the dentist asked me if I'm having any TMJ pain and I said no, I got TMJ pain suddenly out of nowhere. I hadn't had it in years.
- Making appointments sucks. Gotta make the kid's appointments when he's not in school, not at hockey practice, not at soccer, not at baseball, not at CCD, and... that's it. That doesn't leave many free business hours. Gotta make my own when I'm not in work, not toting my son around, and when someone else can watch him. (See previous comment about business hours.)
- Despite my best intentions, I'm now hooked on the TV show The Neighbors. 'Tis funny. Toks O is gorgeous and I've always loved Jami Gertz. The alien hubby, Larry Bird, is a hoot, too.
- Did I just say, "Hoot?"
- Speaking of, if you don't want people to call you Hootie, try not to be the front man in a band called Hootie and the Blowfish. Just sayin'.
- Rush sucks. That's right. Rush, as in Geddy Lee, Alex Lifeson, and Neil Peart. I hate them. OK, really, I only hate Geddy's voice but it's so pervasive that it makes me hate the whole band. Tough shit.
- Mike Portnoy is full of himself but my friend met him a week or two ago and said he was really nice.
- Swiss Top Secret Drum Corps rules.
Good night.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Hockey/Soccer/Baseball Mom
When did I become a cabbie? When did my schedule become so overbooked with my son's activities that I can only think one day at a time lest my head explode? My husband and I have to review our collective schedule once or twice a day to make sure we don't miss anything. Baseball clinic, hockey practice, soccer practice, CCD, hockey practice, soccer practice, baseball practice, hockey tournament, baseball practice, soccer game, repeat! I am soooo glad I didn't push him to join Cub Scouts or take piano lessons!! As it is, we're to the point where we need to clone all three of us to keep everything fully covered.
Why don't we make him drop one or two sports, you ask? Well, we've been waiting for him to hate one or to suck at one and so far neither has happened. Hockey all-star two years in a row. Travel soccer team member. Baseball all-star last year. He may not be the best on a team but he's always one of the best. (Although, honestly, he was by far the best on his hockey team this year. ☺ ) He's the kid the coaches love because he listens and not only does he listen, he follows their advice and does what they suggest. He doesn't goof around at practice. He's the kid sitting on the bench watching the game while everyone else is goofing around, so that he knows what's going on when it's his turn to go in. He's talented but doesn't act like he knows it. He's not a ball hog. He'll sacrifice his own goal to pass to a kid who hasn't scored all season.
At home, he practices constantly. We don't tell him to. He does it on his own because he just loves these sports so much. He has a mini half-rink in the basement for street hockey and he plays with a miniature net in the kitchen. He practices his soccer kicks alone in the backyard. He pitches to himself, bats, and then runs and tries to get himself out. His dedication and perseverance never cease to amaze me.
So, given all that, how can we deny him? He's our only child (my step-daughter is staring down her 20th birthday, so she's no longer a "child") so we have the time to dedicate to him and trucking him all over the township for practices and beyond for games. Does it wear thin sometimes? Of course. Do I enjoy sitting out in the cold watching his games? No way. Do I sit there anyway? You betcha. I don't want to miss a moment.
Why don't we make him drop one or two sports, you ask? Well, we've been waiting for him to hate one or to suck at one and so far neither has happened. Hockey all-star two years in a row. Travel soccer team member. Baseball all-star last year. He may not be the best on a team but he's always one of the best. (Although, honestly, he was by far the best on his hockey team this year. ☺ ) He's the kid the coaches love because he listens and not only does he listen, he follows their advice and does what they suggest. He doesn't goof around at practice. He's the kid sitting on the bench watching the game while everyone else is goofing around, so that he knows what's going on when it's his turn to go in. He's talented but doesn't act like he knows it. He's not a ball hog. He'll sacrifice his own goal to pass to a kid who hasn't scored all season.
At home, he practices constantly. We don't tell him to. He does it on his own because he just loves these sports so much. He has a mini half-rink in the basement for street hockey and he plays with a miniature net in the kitchen. He practices his soccer kicks alone in the backyard. He pitches to himself, bats, and then runs and tries to get himself out. His dedication and perseverance never cease to amaze me.
So, given all that, how can we deny him? He's our only child (my step-daughter is staring down her 20th birthday, so she's no longer a "child") so we have the time to dedicate to him and trucking him all over the township for practices and beyond for games. Does it wear thin sometimes? Of course. Do I enjoy sitting out in the cold watching his games? No way. Do I sit there anyway? You betcha. I don't want to miss a moment.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Depression (continued)
So right after I published the last post, that I actually wrote weeks ago, I come across this today:
Judge Not by Honest Mom
and this:
We are only as sick as our secrets by the Bearded Iris
I don't know if I should be creeped out that these people have clearly crawled inside my head and stolen my thoughts or comforted to know that I'm not alone. I think I'll go with the latter. :)
Judge Not by Honest Mom
and this:
We are only as sick as our secrets by the Bearded Iris
I don't know if I should be creeped out that these people have clearly crawled inside my head and stolen my thoughts or comforted to know that I'm not alone. I think I'll go with the latter. :)
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Depression: Stay out of my head and my medicine cabinet.
Let me be up front. I’m not a psychiatrist. I’m not a researcher who’s done an extensive multi-year study. I’m merely a woman suffering from and surviving depression. My sample size is n=1, but that’s enough to disprove any absolutes that some people claim, such as no one needs medication for depression. I know at least one person who does, so you’re wrong.
I was in my late 30s when I was diagnosed with major clinical depression. I had not spend the previous 30+ years of my life in a fog of unhappiness or anything else that marks depression. I was "normal." Then I had a series of medical problems (abdominal issues and then a back injury) and something changed in me. I didn’t see it coming and I didn’t know what it was until at one of many visits to my orthopedic doctor, he said, "I think you might have depression." As soon as he said it, a light bulb went off. He was right and I knew it. I didn’t argue with him. I told him I agreed. He said I should seek help and I did. Immediately.
I was relatively young, happily married with a young son, a well-paying job I’d had for over a decade, and a nice house in a good neighborhood. I had nothing to be depressed about. But that’s not the way depression works. You can have the world at your feet and still feel like shit. Why? Because depression isn’t a mood or emotion or anything that you can control or wish, think, or force away. It’s a physical problem and the body part it affects is the brain. Just like diabetes is a physical problem that affects the pancreas and hypertension is a physical problem that affects the heart and arteries. It’s simply a different organ.
That’s right. I just compared a mental illness to a couple standard ailments. If someone develops Type II diabetes or high blood pressure, do you blame them? Do you figure it’s something they brought on themselves? Yeah, yeah, you might think that they should’ve cut back on fast food or exercised more but if the person was doing everything right and then was diagnosed with diabetes or hypertension, you wouldn’t blame them. You would accept that something in their body changed. You might even go so far as to think their body rebelled against them. How could this crappy thing happen to this person?
So after they drop the "I have diabetes/hypertension/insert any disease name here" bomb, do you say, "You should go talk to somebody."?!
Do you say, "Just think happy thoughts" or "It’s all in your mind" or "You have nothing to be diabetic about??" Of course not. You expect that they’ll go to a doctor, have some tests done, and be prescribed a certain diet and exercise routine. If the diet and exercise don’t work, you expect the doctor to give them a prescription for insulin or Lipitor, right? It would be unreasonable to assume that chatting with a doc each week would lower their cholesterol or stabilize their body’s insulin production! Correct?
Then why do people do that with depression? "You have nothing to be depressed about," you say. Um, yeah, I know. Nonetheless, I am. "You should go find a good therapist, talk things out, and she’ll make you see there’s nothing to be down about." Yep, been there, done that, still feel like shit. Why? Because depression isn’t a mood I choose to have. Depression is some organic, biochemical thing that I don’t understand that has happened to my body, specifically in the northernmost region of said body. Just as a diabetic has no control over his pancreas’s physical make-up, I have no control over that of my brain. The pancreas goofs up, we give it medicine. The brain goofs up and oh wait… stop. No, we can’t just give you medicine for that. You should be able to work it out on your own or maybe with a little help from a licensed professional. (Don’t forget the pat on the head like you’re a child.)
Get real, people!!! Something has gone topsy-turvy in one of my body’s organs and I need something to set it right again!
By the way, do you think it’s easy figuring out which medicine is right for you? Do you think psychiatrists write the same prescription for everyone and send them on their merry way? They don’t. At least not the good and ethical ones. While ALL medicines have different effects on different people, psychiatric medicines really have different effects on different people. Prozac works for you? Makes you feel great? I could barely drag myself out of bed to go pee when I was on Prozac. Wellbutrin gives you energy? Makes you feel all nice and peppy? Wellbutrin infused me with uncontrollable rage. Yes, uncontrollable. I knew what was going on as it was happening but I Could. Not. Stop. It. Luckily for me, nothing bad ever happened while I was raging. Mostly just boiled my own blood until the situation changed.
After many, many months and many, many different meds and combinations of meds, the docs and I found the right combination that works for me. Yay.
So pardon me if I get a little pissed when people who are not psychologists, not researchers, and not depressed say that psych meds are the scourge of society, responsible for mass murders, and should be taken away or more highly regulated. Fuck you. You don’t know. You don’t know how hard it is to find excuses for why you have weekly doctor appointments (i.e., visits to the therapist) because god forbid you tell someone you have a mental illness. You don’t know how hard it is to go through the ups and downs of finding the medicine(s) that work for you. You don’t know how hard it is to know you have to get up and shower, go to work, make dinner, clean the house, do the laundry, go grocery shop, play with your kid, and all this other stuff that used to be routine when you feel like you’ve got a lead blanket weighing you down and try as you might you physically can not bring yourself to get up. You don’t know what it’s like to hold your urine for hours because you simply can’t muster up the gumption to get up and walk to the bathroom. You just don’t know. And now you want legislation that’s going to make me jump through hoops… no, make that MORE hoops… to get the medicine that I know I need to feel like a normal human being? Go to hell. Take your crappy, uneducated opinions with you and hightail it to Dante’s 8th Circle.
I am forever grateful to that orthopedist who had the balls to tell me something that he probably figured I wouldn’t want to hear. Something that was out of his realm of expertise and something that many other doctors might have assigned to the None of My Business file. I am forever thankful that I found a good therapist on my first try. I have yet to find a prescriber (my therapist is a Psy.D., not an M.D.) who floats my boat and sticks around. I’ve been through at least half a dozen of them all in the same practice but they never last long. I’m now seeing one of the heads of the practice and I think I figured out why all the others left. The guy’s kind of a dick. Luckily, so far he’s maintained my regimen and hasn’t messed with my meds. The jury’s still out on whether he’ll ever grow on me.
I am thankful for my family. I know they don’t understand but they do their best. I am thankful for the handful of friends and coworkers I’ve felt comfortable telling about my diagnosis. As much as I’ve said that it’s a physical disease that I can’t control, I know that many people still don’t think that way and I’d just rather not deal with their reactions to the news. (Is it still news if it’s a few years old? Should we call it “olds?”)
But I want to slap a bitch when someone goes on a rant about something they know nothing about. Just like lots of women want politicians "out of their vaginas" (abortion and birth control stuff, if you don’t get what I’m saying), I want them out of my medicine cabinet and my head. So until you find yourself sitting there with a diagnosis of major clinical depression, I’ll ask you to kindly shut the fuck up and stop spreading your idiotic opinion to other even less educated people.
kthxbye
Note: This post was my reaction to the wonderful January 15, 2013 Chicago Now blog post called Depression - S*&t that everyone should know by Nicole Knepper as well as some posts I saw on Facebook around the same time that blamed the Sandy Hook, CT school massacre on the assailant's alleged medication use as an alternative to blaming it on a lack of gun control.
I was in my late 30s when I was diagnosed with major clinical depression. I had not spend the previous 30+ years of my life in a fog of unhappiness or anything else that marks depression. I was "normal." Then I had a series of medical problems (abdominal issues and then a back injury) and something changed in me. I didn’t see it coming and I didn’t know what it was until at one of many visits to my orthopedic doctor, he said, "I think you might have depression." As soon as he said it, a light bulb went off. He was right and I knew it. I didn’t argue with him. I told him I agreed. He said I should seek help and I did. Immediately.
I was relatively young, happily married with a young son, a well-paying job I’d had for over a decade, and a nice house in a good neighborhood. I had nothing to be depressed about. But that’s not the way depression works. You can have the world at your feet and still feel like shit. Why? Because depression isn’t a mood or emotion or anything that you can control or wish, think, or force away. It’s a physical problem and the body part it affects is the brain. Just like diabetes is a physical problem that affects the pancreas and hypertension is a physical problem that affects the heart and arteries. It’s simply a different organ.
That’s right. I just compared a mental illness to a couple standard ailments. If someone develops Type II diabetes or high blood pressure, do you blame them? Do you figure it’s something they brought on themselves? Yeah, yeah, you might think that they should’ve cut back on fast food or exercised more but if the person was doing everything right and then was diagnosed with diabetes or hypertension, you wouldn’t blame them. You would accept that something in their body changed. You might even go so far as to think their body rebelled against them. How could this crappy thing happen to this person?
So after they drop the "I have diabetes/hypertension/insert any disease name here" bomb, do you say, "You should go talk to somebody."?!
Do you say, "Just think happy thoughts" or "It’s all in your mind" or "You have nothing to be diabetic about??" Of course not. You expect that they’ll go to a doctor, have some tests done, and be prescribed a certain diet and exercise routine. If the diet and exercise don’t work, you expect the doctor to give them a prescription for insulin or Lipitor, right? It would be unreasonable to assume that chatting with a doc each week would lower their cholesterol or stabilize their body’s insulin production! Correct?
Then why do people do that with depression? "You have nothing to be depressed about," you say. Um, yeah, I know. Nonetheless, I am. "You should go find a good therapist, talk things out, and she’ll make you see there’s nothing to be down about." Yep, been there, done that, still feel like shit. Why? Because depression isn’t a mood I choose to have. Depression is some organic, biochemical thing that I don’t understand that has happened to my body, specifically in the northernmost region of said body. Just as a diabetic has no control over his pancreas’s physical make-up, I have no control over that of my brain. The pancreas goofs up, we give it medicine. The brain goofs up and oh wait… stop. No, we can’t just give you medicine for that. You should be able to work it out on your own or maybe with a little help from a licensed professional. (Don’t forget the pat on the head like you’re a child.)
Get real, people!!! Something has gone topsy-turvy in one of my body’s organs and I need something to set it right again!
By the way, do you think it’s easy figuring out which medicine is right for you? Do you think psychiatrists write the same prescription for everyone and send them on their merry way? They don’t. At least not the good and ethical ones. While ALL medicines have different effects on different people, psychiatric medicines really have different effects on different people. Prozac works for you? Makes you feel great? I could barely drag myself out of bed to go pee when I was on Prozac. Wellbutrin gives you energy? Makes you feel all nice and peppy? Wellbutrin infused me with uncontrollable rage. Yes, uncontrollable. I knew what was going on as it was happening but I Could. Not. Stop. It. Luckily for me, nothing bad ever happened while I was raging. Mostly just boiled my own blood until the situation changed.
After many, many months and many, many different meds and combinations of meds, the docs and I found the right combination that works for me. Yay.
So pardon me if I get a little pissed when people who are not psychologists, not researchers, and not depressed say that psych meds are the scourge of society, responsible for mass murders, and should be taken away or more highly regulated. Fuck you. You don’t know. You don’t know how hard it is to find excuses for why you have weekly doctor appointments (i.e., visits to the therapist) because god forbid you tell someone you have a mental illness. You don’t know how hard it is to go through the ups and downs of finding the medicine(s) that work for you. You don’t know how hard it is to know you have to get up and shower, go to work, make dinner, clean the house, do the laundry, go grocery shop, play with your kid, and all this other stuff that used to be routine when you feel like you’ve got a lead blanket weighing you down and try as you might you physically can not bring yourself to get up. You don’t know what it’s like to hold your urine for hours because you simply can’t muster up the gumption to get up and walk to the bathroom. You just don’t know. And now you want legislation that’s going to make me jump through hoops… no, make that MORE hoops… to get the medicine that I know I need to feel like a normal human being? Go to hell. Take your crappy, uneducated opinions with you and hightail it to Dante’s 8th Circle.
I am forever grateful to that orthopedist who had the balls to tell me something that he probably figured I wouldn’t want to hear. Something that was out of his realm of expertise and something that many other doctors might have assigned to the None of My Business file. I am forever thankful that I found a good therapist on my first try. I have yet to find a prescriber (my therapist is a Psy.D., not an M.D.) who floats my boat and sticks around. I’ve been through at least half a dozen of them all in the same practice but they never last long. I’m now seeing one of the heads of the practice and I think I figured out why all the others left. The guy’s kind of a dick. Luckily, so far he’s maintained my regimen and hasn’t messed with my meds. The jury’s still out on whether he’ll ever grow on me.
I am thankful for my family. I know they don’t understand but they do their best. I am thankful for the handful of friends and coworkers I’ve felt comfortable telling about my diagnosis. As much as I’ve said that it’s a physical disease that I can’t control, I know that many people still don’t think that way and I’d just rather not deal with their reactions to the news. (Is it still news if it’s a few years old? Should we call it “olds?”)
But I want to slap a bitch when someone goes on a rant about something they know nothing about. Just like lots of women want politicians "out of their vaginas" (abortion and birth control stuff, if you don’t get what I’m saying), I want them out of my medicine cabinet and my head. So until you find yourself sitting there with a diagnosis of major clinical depression, I’ll ask you to kindly shut the fuck up and stop spreading your idiotic opinion to other even less educated people.
kthxbye
Note: This post was my reaction to the wonderful January 15, 2013 Chicago Now blog post called Depression - S*&t that everyone should know by Nicole Knepper as well as some posts I saw on Facebook around the same time that blamed the Sandy Hook, CT school massacre on the assailant's alleged medication use as an alternative to blaming it on a lack of gun control.
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