Spring is here!

No more "sprinter!"  (That's spring-winter for you slow ones.)  It's 58 degrees here in my world.  Not quite swimsuit weather yet, but I'll take it.

Happy Spring!

All You Zombies

Holy Moses met the Pharaoh
Yeah, he tried to set him straight
Looked him in the eye
"Let my people go"

Holy Moses on the mountain
High above the golden calf
Went to get the Ten Commandments
Yeah, he's just gonna break 'em in half

All you zombies, hide your faces
All you people in the street
All you sittin' in high places
The pieces gonna fall on you

No one ever spoke to Noah
They all laughed at him instead
Working on his ark
Working all by himself

Only Noah saw it coming
40 days and 40 nights
Took his sons and daughters with him
Yeah, they were the Israelites

All you zombies, hide your faces
All you people in the street
All you sittin' in high places
The rain's gonna fall on you

Holy Father, what's the matter?
Where have all your children gone?
Sitting in the dark, living all by themselves
You don't have to hide anymore

All you zombies, show your faces
All you people in the street
All you sittin' in high places
The pieces gonna fall on you

All you zombies, show your faces (I know you're out there)
All you people in the street (Let's see you)
All you sittin' in high places
It's all gonna fall on you

[Whispered:]
Zombies

Songwriter(s):Eric M. Bazilian, Rob Hyman

Artist: The Hooters

Album: Nervous Night /Original Release Date: 1985
Label: 1985 Sony Music Entertainment Inc

‘Monsanto Protection Act’ Sneaks Through Senate

http://news.yahoo.com/monsanto-protection-act-sneaks-spending-bill-180416331.html

"... the rider threatens the health and wellbeing of the public by undermining the federal courts’ ability to protect farmers and the environment from potentially hazardous genetically engineered (GE) crops."

Read the whole story.  The bastards snuck it in.  I hate to be all doomsdayish but we're going down.  The economy.  Our food supply.  Ammunition shortages.  Gun control.  It's all going to come to a head and we're not all going to make it to the other side.

Oh, America!  What have you done to yourself?  What have all you blind, brainwashed idiots done to yourselves and the rest of us?

The Guerilla Gardener of South Central

Let Mr. Ron Finley take up the next 10 minutes of your time.  He has a very important story to tell.

Brrr

Dear Old Man Winter,

Hello.  How are you?  I was wondering if anyone told you that Spring has arrived.  Yep, she's here.  She's been around less than 48 hours, but ya know... she's here.  It's her time.  For the next 3 months.  Yup, yup.  So, listen, dude.  You gotta go.  Sorry.  Well, not really.  I'm just trying to be polite.  What I really want to say to you, Mr. Winter, is GET THE FUCK OUT!!!!  No more of this freezing my ass off every evening that I have to be outside.  No more biting cold winds.  I want none of it.  All gone!  Go!  Go!  Take all that shit with you and drag your happy ass back to the North Pole or wherever the hell you come from.  Go hang out with your buddy Snow Miser and let icicles drip off the end of your nose.  Mkay?  Shoo now.  Go!  Enjoy a nice 9 month vacation.  B-bye now!  You bastard.

Hugs 'n' kisses,
Me

Brain fart

Earlier today, I thought of something profound I wanted to write about, but now I've forgotten what that was.  "What a drag it is getting old."  Now, what could it have been?

• If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.  Check!  Had that experience today.
• Shamrock Shakes still rock.  I don't care that there's not a scrap of real food in them.  They're yummerz.
• GMOs suck.
• Illegal immigrants suck.
• Tax season sucks.  Seriously, why can't this be something that's done once every few years?  Just pay based on the last year it was done until you're due to reassess again.
• You never get over some bitches from high school because they never get over themselves.  99% of people grow up and become more tolerable but there's always that one who still thinks her shit doesn't stink 25 years later.
• Rape culture sucks.
• Dry skin super sucks.  I've put lotion on my lower right leg three times tonight and it still itches like a muthafucka.  I'm never gonna be able to fall asleep :(
• Parkinson's disease sucks.  (Dad has it, not me.)
• Two days after the dentist asked me if I'm having any TMJ pain and I said no, I got TMJ pain suddenly out of nowhere.  I hadn't had it in years.
• Making appointments sucks.  Gotta make the kid's appointments when he's not in school, not at hockey practice, not at soccer, not at baseball, not at CCD, and... that's it.  That doesn't leave many free business hours.  Gotta make my own when I'm not in work, not toting my son around, and when someone else can watch him.  (See previous comment about business hours.)
• Despite my best intentions, I'm now hooked on the TV show The Neighbors.  'Tis funny.  Toks O is gorgeous and I've always loved Jami Gertz.  The alien hubby, Larry Bird, is a hoot, too.
• Did I just say, "Hoot?"
• Speaking of, if you don't want people to call you Hootie, try not to be the front man in a band called Hootie and the Blowfish.  Just sayin'.
• Rush sucks.  That's right.  Rush, as in Geddy Lee, Alex Lifeson, and Neil Peart.  I hate them.  OK, really, I only hate Geddy's voice but it's so pervasive that it makes me hate the whole band.  Tough shit.  
• Mike Portnoy is full of himself but my friend met him a week or two ago and said he was really nice.
• Swiss Top Secret Drum Corps rules.

Good night.

Hockey/Soccer/Baseball Mom

When did I become a cabbie?  When did my schedule become so overbooked with my son's activities that I can only think one day at a time lest my head explode?  My husband and I have to review our collective schedule once or twice a day to make sure we don't miss anything.  Baseball clinic, hockey practice, soccer practice, CCD, hockey practice, soccer practice, baseball practice, hockey tournament, baseball practice, soccer game, repeat!  I am soooo glad I didn't push him to join Cub Scouts or take piano lessons!!  As it is, we're to the point where we need to clone all three of us to keep everything fully covered.

Why don't we make him drop one or two sports, you ask?  Well, we've been waiting for him to hate one or to suck at one and so far neither has happened.  Hockey all-star two years in a row.  Travel soccer team member.  Baseball all-star last year.  He may not be the best on a team but he's always one of the best.  (Although, honestly, he was by far the best on his hockey team this year. ☺ )  He's the kid the coaches love because he listens and not only does he listen, he follows their advice and does what they suggest.  He doesn't goof around at practice.  He's the kid sitting on the bench watching the game while everyone else is goofing around, so that he knows what's going on when it's his turn to go in.  He's talented but doesn't act like he knows it.  He's not a ball hog.  He'll sacrifice his own goal to pass to a kid who hasn't scored all season.

At home, he practices constantly.  We don't tell him to.  He does it on his own because he just loves these sports so much.  He has a mini half-rink in the basement for street hockey and he plays with a miniature net in the kitchen.  He practices his soccer kicks alone in the backyard.  He pitches to himself, bats, and then runs and tries to get himself out.  His dedication and perseverance never cease to amaze me.

So, given all that, how can we deny him?  He's our only child (my step-daughter is staring down her 20th birthday, so she's no longer a "child") so we have the time to dedicate to him and trucking him all over the township for practices and beyond for games.  Does it wear thin sometimes?  Of course.  Do I enjoy sitting out in the cold watching his games?  No way.  Do I sit there anyway?  You betcha.  I don't want to miss a moment.