Musings and ramblings

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Please stop

Dear liberals and other Trump haters:

Please stop. Just stop for a moment and check various news sources, as well as federal laws and the US Constitution, before you go shooting off your mouths and protesting EVERYTHING.

The "Muslim ban" isn't a Muslim ban. It's a temporary travel ban on people from seven particular countries that were decided upon by President OBAMA. There are dozens of other Muslim-majority countries that are totally unaffected by this executive order.

A few tidbits of history:

2016 - In February, Pres. Obama's Department of Homeland Security implementation of the Visa Waiver Program Improvement and Terrorist Travel Prevention Act of 2015 added Libya, Somalia, and Yemen as three countries of concern, limiting Visa Waiver Program travel for certain individuals who have traveled to these countries.

2016 - In January, Pres. Obama's Department of Homeland Security began implementing changes under the Act and designated Iran, Iraq, Sudan, and Syria as countries subject to restrictions for Visa Waiver Program travel for certain individuals.

2015 - In December, Pres. Obama signed the “Visa Waiver Program Improvement and Terrorist Travel Prevention Act” into law, which restricted access to the Visa Waiver Program.

2011 - Pres. Obama banned Iraqi refugees for six months in 2011 due to concerns that the program was being used by terrorists to infiltrate the United States.

2002 - These same 7 countries were mentioned in a report from Pres. G.W. Bush's Department of Defense with plans to destabilize those countries

1980 - Pres. Carter invalidated the Visas of Iranians during the Iran Hostage Crisis.

1952 - 8 US Code 1182 was written; passed by a Democrat-controlled Congress, House and Senate; and signed by a Democrat president. It contains this passage:
(f)Suspension of entry or imposition of restrictions by President

Whenever the President finds that the entry of any aliens or of any class of aliens into the United States would be detrimental to the interests of the United States, he may by proclamation, and for such period as he shall deem necessary, suspend the entry of all aliens or any class of aliens as immigrants or nonimmigrants, or impose on the entry of aliens any restrictions he may deem to be appropriate.

1932 - President Roosevelt and the State Department essentially shut down immigration during the Great Depression. (And I would argue that although our economy isn't in that dire of a situation, it's not great and that alone could/should be reason to halt or slow immigration.)

Sources:

Monday, January 2, 2017

Vertigo

Have you ever felt like your head was about to explode and you kind of wish it would to put you out of your misery?

I've had vertigo for the past 9-10 days and it's driving me bonkers. I'm on meclizine but it doesn't seem to be helping. I wake up each morning feeling normal but as the day goes on and I move around, the dizziness returns.

I've mostly been watching movies and sleeping throughout "winter break" (my son's... I don't get one) and it's really bumming me out that this week+ was wasted. I can't do much housework because most housework involves bending, lifting, reaching, stretching, and spinning. Lots of spinning. Think about cooking a meal... now think about how many times you turn around. Same for laundry -- from bending over to sort it to spinning around to take clean items from the basket and put them in their proper place. I haven't really been able to go anywhere because driving makes me a bit dizzy. That's not a good way to be when you're driving. I can't read because the back and forth eye motion makes me dizzy. I can't do anything for work that involves comparing 2 documents (which is what I've been doing a helluva lot of the past several weeks at work) because of the left to right and back eye motion. So basically, I'm screwed. I'm tired of sitting in the house through all these days off but when I get to work, I'm a wreck and dreading driving home all dizzy.

To top it off, my son is now 13. Sitting around in the house a year or two ago wouldn't have been bad because he'd hang out with me but now? Pfft! If he's not out with his friends or begging to go out with his friends, he's in the basement playing video games with his friends remotely! If not that, then he's talking to them or FaceTiming them or group chatting with them. My baby's growing up and leaving me in the dust. With my husband.

My husband, who I haven't spent time alone with in 13 years. Last night was our first New Year's Eve without The Boy. You'd think we'd be thrilled. Instead it was like "what the hell are we going to do for the next 5 hours waiting for this stupid ball to drop?" We ate our traditional NYE meal of appetizers and snacks. We watched a couple movies we wouldn't have watched with The Boy home. (Settle down. It was just Neighbors (Seth Rogen, Zac Efron) and Deadpool. Nothing racy.) Anyway, it made me realize that this is now my life. My son is going to grow farther and farther away from us and it's just going to be the two of us alone. We're not the people we were when we got married 15 years ago. All these years of marriage and parenthood and life have changed us. We're older and achier and crankier and I'm terrified of spending the rest of my life with just him.

Yep. There, I said it. Just thinking about it makes me lonely. I'm married to a guy who is content to sit on the couch all weekend watching one sport after another, barely grunting at me in between. I want to travel and see the world, or at least leave the house for more than an hour or two at a pop. And this is who I'm stuck with for the rest of my life. My dad is gone. My mom is 82. She won't be around forever. I have no siblings. I have no best friend (because I'm an adult and do adults really have best friends???). Even if I did have a "bestie" would I be able to go globetrotting with her without my husband wondering what trouble we could be getting into?

So here I am. Day One of the new year. Dizzy, depressed (that's a whole other story for another time), and dreading the future. Happy 2017.

Sunday, December 25, 2016

First Christmas

This is my first Christmas without my dad. He died in July after a long struggle with Parkinson's disease. He was 74.

I've been married for 15 years and have a 13-year-old son. This is the 16th Christmas Eve night that I have not spent with my parents. Yet here I am on my third cry of the day because my dad's not here.

I'm an only child, so Christmas Eve was always just the three of us. Christmas Day was spent with extended family but the night before was ours alone. After I stopped believing that a fat man in a red suit was scooting down our chimney, I became a pain in my mom's ass for a few years begging her to let me open gifts early. Over the years, one gift on Christmas Eve eventually became all gifts in Christmas Eve, which was how my mother's family did it when she was a child. We would put the PBS Yule Log on the TV in the other room so we could hear the music and I'd "play Santa" and hand out the gifts from under the tree. It was always a special, cozy time that was all ours.

I went away to grad school and later moved out to my own home, but I always came home for Christmas Eve. Just the 3 of us. When I got married, of course, our tradition changed. I had my parents over for Christmas Eve dinner and we'd open gifts with my husband. Our son was born right before our third Christmas and again our traditions changed. My son got older and my dad got sicker, traditions evolved.

Last year, as we had for the previous few years, we went to my parents' house on Christmas Eve and opened gifts. We were gone before dark to go to my sister-in-law's house. We came back the next day for my family's dinner (a late lunch, really) and then later had a dinnertime dinner with my husband's family.

That brings me to today. I'm not thinking about the last 16 Christmases. I'm in tears over the 15-20 Christmases before that. I'm crying over that special closeness that I haven't experienced the same way in years and suddenly I'm missing it like it was yesterday. My mom is home alone tonight on Christmas Eve. I can't go to her house and "abandon" my family but she's not going to stay here overnight either. I saw her today and she's fine but I feel overwhelming guilt that I can't spread myself out and be everywhere at once. And I am so, so sad that my dad isn't here anymore. I've been so strong since July, telling myself my dad had really been gone for a long time (if you know Parkinson's, you know what I mean) and this was just his spirit leaving his traitorous body. But this is the first time that I've experienced something that I so closely associate with my dad and it's like he just died yesterday or is dead all over again. I miss my dad. Not the guy who he was the few years, but the guy I grew up with. And I find that I'm begging him to visit me tonight. In a dream. I need him to come to me and hold me and tell me it will be OK. That he's OK. That mom will be OK. That this will get easier. And I want to tell him again that I love him and I miss him.

Monday, October 17, 2016

Going to hell in a handbasket

I'm at the boiling point.

20ish days until the presidential election and everything's haywire. This one's a liar, that one's a misogynist, blah blah blah. Just shut up already, you two!

I hate my boss. Been suffering about 2 years with him. I despise him with every fiber of my being. But I can't afford to quit and transfers at my level are very few and very far between. I just hope I don't crack before one of us gets out of there. (Retire already, you old coot!)

Then today I find out they're putting a department store virtually in my backyard. As if the traffic hasn't gotten bad enough in recent years!

So, yeah, a lot's sucking right now. My kid's healthy and doing OK (not great but OK) in school and his soccer team is undefeated for once. Baseball's a bummer but at least 1 of the 2 is going well. Although away games for both are a pain. Oh yeah, don't forget the new 23¢ per gallon gas tax coming on Nov. 1. That'll make all the driving around just a little more painful.

Yep. Everything officially sucks.