I came across two interesting articles about parenting in the last couple days. The first was from FoxNews and was titled Bad parenting -- Why Americans need to toughen up and the second was from Cracked.com and was called The 5 Creepiest 'Progressive' Parenting Fads.
While I agree with both authors for the most part, I find it difficult to follow through. It's a classic case of "Do as I say, not as I do." It's easy to say that you don't want your kids to be spoiled brats, to get everything they want, and to sit back and have life handed to them but it's much more difficult to perform the necessary steps to make sure it happens.
Today, as I was going to Dick's Sporting Goods to buy my son baseball uniform pants, my husband tells me (in front of The Boy) that he also needs rollerblades. What what what?! The kid can't even skate! His feet grow 3 shoe sizes each year! Are you insane? Dad's response spoken to The Boy (but of course directed at me): "Mom says you can't have skates, so when all the other boys are skating you just can't." Well gee thanks, asshole. Now I'm the bad guy. You're the wonderful, overindulgent, buddy parent who gives the kid everything under the sun (as usual) while I have to be the one to always say "No."
I started skating in 1st grade (my son's in 2nd) and became very good at it. Roller skating was the one "sport" I enjoyed. Probably starting in about 2nd grade, I bugged my mom for my own skates so I wouldn't have to use the stinky rental skates at the rink. My best friend had her own skates, so why couldn't I? (Note: My best friend was an only child -- like me -- whose parents bought her everything imaginable. She had an in-ground pool in the 1970s when it was unheard of in middle class suburbia.) My mom's answer was that I would get my own skates when my feet stopped growing. When I went a full year without going up a shoe size, I'd get then. I still remember that I finally got them at the roller rink for $40.00 on my 12th birthday. I still have them, too. And they still fit.
Back to my son. First we checked skates in Target. That's when I realized they make them adjustable for smaller kids. My son wears a 2 or 3 and the skates are size 1-4. OK, that made me a lot less reluctant. The Target skates were only $32.49 but he couldn't get his foot in! *sigh* So we went to Dick's since we needed the baseball pants anyway. They had skates on sale for $49.99 but the only size they had left was too small. Then I noticed another brand in his size. I took them off the shelf. I opened the box, just to look, ya know. My son sat on the floor and took off his sneakers. He handed me the skate and by rote I undid the buckles. The first skate slipped on like it was made for his foot. I got the other skate ready and he put that one on, too. He got up and "skated" on the carpet complaining that the skates were no good. I relented and told him to go on the floor where he wobbled and weaved but quickly determined the skates worked after all. He asked if he could have them. I said I have no idea how much they cost. They could be over $100 for all I knew. Little bugger called over a salesman before I knew it. The nice man scanned the box. $49.99 just like the other brand that only came in the smaller size. They were on his feet. They fit. They were comfortable. They were adjustable and could likely be worn for 2 years. How could I say no? Obviously, by saying no, but what happened was that despite my best intentions, I had no real reason to say no. The price was reasonable -- regularly $100, on sale for half that -- and my son was happy. If I didn't buy them, my husband would just go another day and do it. So, I bought them. I got to be the good guy for a change.
So, while I believe all that stuff in the FoxNews article, I find it difficult to always adhere to those guidelines. Parenting isn't a science. It's an art and the thing about art is that there's no right or wrong. Everyone's tastes are different and what doesn't appeal to one person will appeal to another. I just try my best and hope that when I'm done with my piece of art, more people will like and admire it than not.
